An Excerpt from 50 Shades of May: An Extra-Erotic Guide for New Englanders

[A picture of grass with no snow on it. The sun reflects off the blades. There is no snow.]

Caption: The grass will be seen by you now.

[A picture from the vantage of the driver’s seat of a car. Through the window, you can see a parking space cleaned of snow without a chair in it. The stop sign you haven’t been able to see over the snow mound is back.]

Caption: All you need to do is pull in.

[A picture of a small dog, barking at another dog across the street. They can actually see one another.]

Caption: The barking will sound good at first. You’ll get to use the chokechain soon.

[A picture of the departures list at an airport. In the column of delays, every one reads on time.]

Caption: The delays won’t shackle you any more.

[An overhead picture of a park. You can see the green of the leaves. The drinking fountain has thawed. There is no snow.]

Caption: You can take off your blindfold, if you want to.

[A picture of a middle aged woman tilling her garden. She’s wearing a wide-brimmed hat.]

Caption: It will apply the sun tan lotion to itself.

[A picture of an intersection with no snow banks. There is no slush or ice either].

Caption: You’ll be able to whip through turns like you like to.

[A picture of a vibrant forest. There are actual leaves on the trees again. There is no snow. A deer is drinking from a creek that isn’t frozen.]

Caption: It will be polite, intense, smart… and really intimidating.

[A picture of a couple holding hands, happily. They are not wearing gloves. There is no snow.]

Caption: Remember flesh on flesh.

[A picture of a snow mound, mostly melted. The grass around it is muddy, but it’s there, poking through].

Caption: I’m incapable of leaving you alone.

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One thought on “An Excerpt from 50 Shades of May: An Extra-Erotic Guide for New Englanders

  1. Pingback: This Month in Writing: February | Ryan Bradley

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