The New Pope Is So Cool

I bet he’s got a tribal armband tattoo.

I bet he can dunk a basketball.

I bet he’s got a gay friend and a black friend.

I bet he can grow a beard but decided not to.

I bet he wears a shark tooth necklace.

I bet he took the tooth out of the shark’s mouth himself.

I bet he liked your favorite band before they were cool.

I bet he’s got Ray Bans but it doesn’t bother him to have the sun in his eyes.

I bet he’s going to be on Kanye’s next album.

I bet he’s cutting class right now.

I bet he smokes Marlboros with no filters.

I bet he’s using his pulpit to push Catholics to work toward progressive world improvement just to make the Vatican mad.

I bet he’s played saxophone with Bill Clinton.

I bet he sets his own curfew and then breaks it anyway.

I bet he has two tribal armband tattoos.


3 thoughts on “The New Pope Is So Cool

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