Thoughts I had Eating Dino Nuggets while Watching Jurassic Park

Fear me, little dinosaurs, for while your large screen-counterparts strike fear into humans, I am a god, descended from on high to eat you.

My, how the tables have turned, tiny stegosaurus and pterodactyl. That’s not tar you’re dipping into. It’s barbeque sauce.

Since birds descended from raptors, and chickens are birds, are these really Dino Nuggets? Am I actually eating dinosaurs?

There are no pterodactyls in this movie because I ate them all. That, and their name is hella hard to spell. You’re welcome, Drs. Ellie Satler, Alan Grant, and Ian Malcolm.

Why doesn’t anyone make nuggets in other shapes? Transformers nuggets would be dope if you ate around and they turned from giant robots into cars, but I’d never eat those while watching Michael Bay’s Tranformers because that guy takes himself seriously enough for all of us.

Poor Newman. If he just had some Dino Nuggets to feed those teeny tiny guys he’d have made it. Even dinosaurs can’t say no to Dino Nuggets.

How happy is Jerry Seinfeld every time he watches this scene though?

These dino nuggets are making me thirsty.

If they made Avengers nuggets, would they give Captain America Black Widow’s motorcycle again? I hope not, but it doesn’t seem like Marvel is really learning from their mistakes.

If I got to eat Dino Nuggets as a kid, would I be eating a whole bag and watching Jurassic Park on a Friday night?

T-Rexs aren’t bigoted. They eat anything that moves, regardless of race, gender, orientation, or creed. Even if they’re pooping. Why can’t Marvel be more like a t-rexs?

If we actually had the technological capability to clone dinosaurs, a Republican would probably buy one and eat it. He’d have poor people try the meat first to make sure it was digestable though.

How would they get the bones out of dinosaurs this small without breaking the skin?

What if it was a Warren Buffett style rich lady, and she thought dinosaurs tasted so good that she subsidized most of the cost so we could eat Dino Nuggets cheaply? The hardest part of growing up is accepting that most things are exactly what they appear to be on the surface.

What part of the chicken do nuggets come from? In high school my friend told me McDonald’s had a worm farm and no one knows what they used them for. He pointed at the McNuggets in front of me. I’ve learned not to push to know where food comes from since then.

The raptors are in the kitchen. Preheat the oven to 425.